Saturday, November 27, 2010

Lesson in Grace: Getting it All for Nothing

I was listening to the new Chris Tomlin CD and wrote this. Let me just say I am so thankful that God Almighty has me in His grip and is guiding me through this world.



She was a dancer who spun her life in the orbit of perfection. She denied herself life, the freedom of movement, the beauty of grace. She deemed herself imperfect, unwanted, undesired, not worth it. She held bottles. Bottles of alcohol, bottles of pills. Bottles to make her forget... forget... forget... forget. She lived in confusion, anger, hate! What had she done? Wasn't she supposed to be perfect?

People would smile, and now they whispered in concern. She walked with her head down, swallowed silent tears. Would she ever feel normal, safe? What had she done?

She tried so hard to be perfect! She drove fast! She stopped looking in mirrors. She pushed herself, over the edge... into disaster, and He broke through!

He broke through!

He wouldn't quit! He pursued, put a mark on her, called her His. She fought, wow did she fight. She cried. She ran. Ran away! She couldn't hide, He was stronger, He was in an endless pursuit. He held His arms opened and called to her. She couldn't understand. Why her? What had she done?

He smiled at His crying daughter. He held out His arms and beckoned, "Come here. Come to peace, come to safety, come to life." She doubted! He had all that to offer her, but why? What had she done?

She was imperfect. He nodded, "good." She had nothing to give. He nodded, "good." She had done nothing. He nodded, "good." She was unwanted, undesired. He cried out, "Untrue! Look at me. I want you. I desire you. I created you. Be Mine. Let Me show you. Let Me give you life."

She accepted.

Now she runs..... in freedom.
Now she dances.... in grace.
She smiles, she laughs, she plays.
She skips to His open arms, buries her head in His loving shoulders.

She is home.
She is safe.
She is His.
He gave her life.
He gives. His child, He gave.


She grew into a woman. He smiled and loves. He is proud. He calls her, "daughter." She fails, and He restores. How quickly she forgets, and He patiently waits.

I am nothing without Him. He is my Beloved, and I am His. Look at what the Lord has done! Look at what the Lord has given!

She grows frustrated... the world still refuses to see! The church refusing to go! Her own selfish ambitions getting in the way! It can't be hidden anymore. He is bursting at the seams. His gifts are numerous. He gives, loves, and commands us to love.

See my dears....
I want the world to see, that none of this is me. It is all Him. I am incapable.

He is my giant that leads me, loves me, smiles down at my childish quirks.

He is my Daddy.

One day... one glorious day, I will leave this world. Do not cry. Tell them... "She went home! Where se can crawl into her Daddy's arms, look up at His glowing eyes and say, "I love You."

Dance in grace. Run in freedom. Cry it loud to the mountains. He is King! He has given all!

The time had come to sing His praise.
She had joined the chorus.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Lesson on Grace: Replacing Pride with Love

I am sitting in Nashville, TN still in my pajamas. I should be dressing in warm clothes and heading out for a brisk morning run before we hit the stores for some after Thanksgiving shopping, but there is this thing called COLD, and I just do not do well with that word. Therefore, I am updating my blog because it is important.

PRIDE:
Why is it so hard to swallow my pride? I am fine with distancing myself or distracting myself. I am a pro at making myself alone.

When it comes to forgiving people, I run from responsibility of putting away my pride and facing my hurt...
It is easier to get angry.

Why is it so hard to - be imperfect?
- be pale?
- skip a workout day?
- have a messy house?
- give my kids a reading day?
- to fail?

Even as I write this, my head is buzzing with what is left on the to-do list today. Believe me, there is a lot! God does not have a to-do list for me. I am His, that is enough. He gave me gifts, and I waste them because of PRIDE.

I have lost friends, time... precious time... opportunities all because of PRIDE.


"BE THE BEST!" Isn't that what I am required to do? Be the best! People are watching. God is watching! Be the best! Do your best!

The best what?
- Girlfriend
- Teacher
- Friend
- Woman
- Daughter
- CHRISTIAN


But what if I can't?


What if I am tired of being the best? What if I am tired of trying? What if I simply just....
FAIL

Michael says, "I love you because you are you." He does! He really does! Michael had plenty of chance to forget about me and move on, but He loved me because I was me!

How much more, then, does GOD love us?

Why am I so busy? What race am I trying to win? Why am I so hateful? That isn't who I am. What is this term "adulthood" anyways?

I want to dance.
I want to smile.
I want to laugh.
I want to acknowledge that I fail!
I want to run towards freedom.
I want to live in truth.
I want to live in joy.

These things are already present. I do not have to search for them. They are present because CHRIST lives inside of me.


Challenge: Replace Pride with Love.

A poem for you. (Not by me).

My name is Pride. I am a cheater. I cheat you of your God-given destiny... because you demand your own way. I cheat you out of contentment... because you deserve better than this. I cheat you out of knowledge... because you already know it all. I cheat you of healing... because you're too full of me to forgive. I cheat you of holiness... because you refuse to admit when you're wrong. I cheat you of vision... because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window. I cheat you of genuine friendship... because nobody's going to know the real you. I cheat you of love... because real romance demands sacrifice. I cheat you out of greatness in heaving... because you refuse to wash another's feet on earth. I cheat you of God's glory... because I convince you to seek your own. My name is Pride. I am a cheater. You like me because you think I'm always looking out for you. Untrue. I am looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit, but don't worry... If you stick with me, you'll never know.


What we can learn about love from John

  • Keeping God's word is the proof that we love God. "But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him." 1 John 2:5
  • When we love our brother; we will live without stumbling. "He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him." 1 John 2:10
  • We are not to love the world or the things in the world. "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." 1 John 2:15
  • We cannot love the world and love God also. 1 John 2:15
  • God's love prompted Him to make us His children through the death of His son. "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him." 1 John 3:1
  • Loving other believers is a fundamental requirement of the Christian life. "For this is the message that you heard from the beginning, that we should love one another." 1 John 3:11
  • Genuine love always results in action --- not merely sentimental words. "But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?" 1 John 3:17
  • God is the source of all love. "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God." 1 John 4:7
  • Mature love does not produce fear but instead imparts courage. "Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgement; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love' but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:17-19
  • Long before we loved God, He loved us first. "We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19