Here I am, in Alabama, again. I feel like I just left this place, honestly it was only two and half weeks ago, but once again in such a short amount of time, so much has changed. My dear friend Jessica is married to another dear friend Nathan. All I can say for their wedding is that it was beautiful and hot. My dear friend Tracy is now a mother to a beautiful boy named Benjamin. He was born to Tracy and Brian June 11, one day after my own birthday. He is a big healthy boy, weighing in at 12 pound and 3 ounces. I am officially no longer a resident of my very first God-given apartment. I handed over my keys today in an emotional moment. Sarah and Embery arrived home from Nebraska safe and sound. I was excited to see God answer prayers through that adventure. I am officially in the system as the 9th and 10th grade English teacher at Quitman High School, and slowly but surely my desire to enter the mission field is becoming a reality.
About two and half weeks ago I was sitting on the couch at the Varian household when the fantastic Ms. Mary brought me this amazing coffee drink with beautiful whip cream on top. When I decided about five minutes earlier that I wanted some of her famous "coffee-goo" I arose from the couch to go make me some. Ms. Mary caught me before I entered the kitchen and told me to return to my movie, for she would make it for me. I did as I was told. At Ms. Mary's house you do as your told. With my beloved treat in my hands I smiled as Ms. Mary's youngest son scowled at me and told me that I was spoiled. I smiled a victorious smile, but the idea stayed with me.
"And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full."
John 16:23-24
I am spoiled. With Sam's words ringing in my ear, I started contemplating all the things that I have asked my Father and did not receive. My conclusion was this: there is VERY LITTLE that I have asked and not be given. There was this beautiful apartment by my college that I wanted. I prayed for this apartment. I had no credit, no background, and I was living in a horrible environment. I filled out the background check and prayed that something would come through. I got a phone call from a woman that worked with the rental company. With joy in her voice she exclaimed that she knew me from a random co-ed slow pitch softball team I played with for maybe three games. She told the rental agency that I would be a fantastic tenant, and the apartment I wanted was handed to me on a silver platter. Now two years later, I've started asking God for a house with a backyard. My wish was granted a few weeks ago, and when I return to Conway, I will be moving into a house with a backyard and a tire swing.
I could name dream after dream that was answered after I petitioned my Father. Here recently, I took a giant step in faith. I have always been afraid to ask my Father for a husband because I did not think that I was worthy of such an amazing gift. I claimed and lied to myself that marriage was not a huge deal in my life, and after a while, I believed myself. Through many eye opening events, however, I decided that there three desires of my heart. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to do mission work and travel, and I wanted a husband. After months and months of asking God to reveal to me the desires of my heart, I began to pray for a husband and the opportunity to do mission work. As of right now, I do not know how any of this will turn out, but I see the wheels already began in motion in several areas of my life.
The verse above is HUGE! The old saying, "Be careful for what you ask for because you might just get it," rings true as well. I bought an old junk car to get me back and forth to my internship. My prayer was that it would last until the last day of my internship. As I was driving home my last day, it broke. In desperation I surrendered my life and summer to God as I prayed for a teaching job before graduation that would not interfere with my summer plans in going to Alabama. I am now an English teacher at a school that did not have any conflicting dates. Even now, where I sit at my beloved Varians is an answered prayer. My God has continued to provide money, events, and moments in my life because I simply ask. He is my Daddy, and He loves to take care of me.
So what pushed my giant leap of faith? After it was clear what my heart wanted, and after God started showing Himself faithful again and again, I asked for something simple and even a little silly. At orientation at camp a friend and co-counselor of mine four three four-leaf clovers during a game. Now, I have NEVER SEEN a four-leaf clover, and I have spent countless hours searching for them. I had about decided that they didn't exist (stolen by some random leprechaun perhaps). I prayed for one. It was a simple and childlike prayer. God has answered so many prayers this past year, and to ask for a four-leaf clover seemed stupid, but I wanted one, and more than that, I wanted to give God another chance to express His love for me. My fears usually get in the way of my dreams, and as my dreams were becoming more clear to me, my fear that those dreams would not be filled soared.
I was walking from the gym to the cabin late one day probably going to get ready for dinner or another meeting. When I walk alone I usually walk with my head down...I'm just clumsy. Quick and simple...I found a four-leaf clover. It just appeared, and I found it! It now lives in my Bible under the above verses as a memory that we must dare to dream because God wants to give.
Dare to Dream.
Ask and Receive.
