If We Estimate the Entirety of the World by What We Can See, then What a Limited Perception We Have

I met a dear woman today... actually, I have been meeting several dear strangers lately. This woman makes more money in a day than I will make in the next few years. She is the reason that Michael has worked the last 27 days. She is kind, and the first thing she said when she met me was a big thank you for letting her borrow my husband. She is Michael's new CEO, and though I have seen her in the paper and have heard Michael talk about her several times, it was difficult to look her in the face because I do not know if I ever actually believed that she existed. I know that seems like a silly thing to say, especially since I have heard her name mentioned several times in the last month at almost every dinner time conversation. This woman is currently moving into a new house that Michael has been busy remodeling. How limited our perception is! I had never met this woman before, so my perception told me that she did not actually exist.

I have been challenging my perception a lot lately. After work the other day, I decided that my husband and I needed to go look at some land that was for sale. After his arrival and our sweet hellos, I pulled on some tall boots underneath my skirt (because I am afraid of snakes) and we went on a great adventure to find the land and decide if it was what we were looking for or not. When we stepped foot on the land, I felt like a child playing make believe. Could we really be here? Could I really be married and looking for land... land to build a family upon?

Of course, there is more to this story than meets the eye. Michael and I have determined that we are to open a safe house in the future, but even as I type the words I do not believe what I am saying. We have recently met with bankers, talked with real estate agents and anyone that will sit down long enough to hear the entirety of our dream. To open a home, for ex-prostitutes, ex-human trafficked women and children, or anyone else that God brings to our door. A place that teaches girls that material things are not the most important things, that there is hope despite the hell that they have seen, and how hard work is refreshing to the soul. I imagine having cows, chickens, and a large farm. I imagine baking bread and starting connections with so many people that my list of friends grows to the extreme. I have no idea what all of this is going to look like in ten years, and God is slowly teaching me to take things step by step. I mean, God sees it all, and I am walking around with my limited perception. Thank the Lord that He does not go according to my limited perception.

When I graduated high school, several colleges required me to answer the overhanging question, where do you see yourself in five years? How silly of a question! Five years ago, the only safe thing that I could tell you was that, I knew despite everything, I would still have faith. God is good to give me insight to the things about to come, but not in my wildest dreams could I have told anyone that I was going to be a special education teacher with a husband and dreamed of opening a farm that ministered to women coming out of horrible situations. Of course, the very common verse Jeremiah 29:11 says that HE has a plan for us.

So here is what I can tell you. Michael and I are sure that there will be money to open a safe house when that time comes. God has plenty of money, but we do wish to get the land and the house for us up and going before we start trying to convince people that they should give money to open the safe house. The bank told me the other day that both Michael and I have excellent credit scores, but we make too much money to get any state assisted grants with the deposit or closing costs. That means we are going to have to AT LEAST come up with 4% of the down payment. Michael and I, at this present time, are not making enough money to put enough into savings in order to make the down payment, so on to the prayer wall the need goes. Also, since nobody wants to be farmers any more, banks are hesitant to give loans to people trying to buy land more than 5acres. The sweet banker smiled at me though and promised that it was going to be possible to get us into a house. Any bank would jump at the chance to give us a loan with our limited debt and good credit scores. There are few random things that we have to clean up, but otherwise, Michael and I are in really good shape. In addition to this, there are a few more pages of paper work that needs to be completed to secure Michael and I a stop on the nightlight international team in Atlanta. Michael and I will be able to spend a couple of weeks working with them on their intervention team, and possibly doing other things while waiting for Passion to begin. Of course, this means that there will be costs as well... hostel or hotel costs, ticket prices, gas, and food. If you were interested in getting us a Christmas present this year, we would be very grateful for gas and food cards. I know that God has plenty of money, and slowly but surely I am reminded how I can do nothing without Him.

To spend some time together, I made Michael and I dinner last night and we watched Soul Surfer. A good movie... not great, but good. As soon as the girl got bit by the shark, she started praying for strength. It was an immediate reaction. She knew she didn't have the strength to survive without Him, so without skipping a beat she went right into prayer, no anxious cries or screams, just quiet prayer. I wish my reaction could be just as focused, each day to stand out of bed and immediately go into prayer. "God give me strength and wisdom. Bless me so that I may bless You and Your people." I watch closely as the things occurring for Michael and I look more and more like distant dreams and make believe than actual events, and I realize how God is holding me in the palm of His hands, and I must turn to Him and focus on Him who is the strength giver. A change of perception is required.