Learning and Living Grace

     My husband is at the Batman marathon. **Rolls Eyes**  I married the one of the biggest nerds in the world.  I say one of because I know for a fact that my husband is at this marathon with several guy friends.  I have this unnatural addiction to popping the pimples on my husband's back.  Gross to admit, but it makes for entertaining story.  He hates it when I attack him with my pimple popping crazies.  Today he got revenge with a dirty sock shoved into my face.  We wrestled to the ground in a frenzie!  Me trying to fight away the sock, and him trying to not let me fall on the floor but at the same time trying to not let me get away with the horrible pimple popping that just occurred.  Maybe that is way too much TMI into our marriage.  My sister-in-law, her husband, and three small children were at our house the other day.  The three girls were playing happily and then decided to start wrestling.  My oldest niece had my middle niece on the ground.  Their father watched in bewilderment as they wrestled wondering where they learned such behavior.  I would say not from us, but then I would be lying...  Oh Well! 

There are so many things I love about our marriage, but one of the most important things is our attempt to show grace to one another.  For example, the other night, my husband worked all day long.  I complained a few times about his work schedule, and when he came home, he had two dozen roses in his hands.  I definitely did not DESERVE those roses.  I definitely had not done anything to gain those roses.  They came free of charge from a man who just wants to love a screw-up like me. 


   My disease, my struggles, my past have a way of dictating the way I see the grace of God.  I monitor my eating habits, I flee from temptation, and I choke down seven different herbal vitamins a day in order to be healthy and hopefully one day carry a child to term.  In all my doing I feel like I get an attitude where I can also earn God's love, God's forgiveness, or even God's miracles (like life itself: either my own or the future one that He will place inside of me).  But like the roses, I did nothing to deserve His love, His miracles, or even His forgiveness.  I cannot do enough good to be good enough for Him.  That is why there is Jesus.  Someone had to make up the difference. 


     How often I forget that, though.  I watched a sermon by Louie Gigilo tonight.  He talked about the time when the woman was almost stoned.  The religious leaders asked Jesus what they should do, and Jesus simply responded "Whoever is without sin may cast the first stone."  All the leaders left until only Jesus and the woman remained.  I didn't think about it until tonight though, but Jesus was without sin.  He could have stoned the woman to death, but He didn't.  He let her go.  He didn't convict her, and sent her away with instruction to change her lifestyle.  She did nothing to deserve His grace.  He freely gave it knowing that soon He would be on the cross choosing death so that we can receive the righteousness of Christ.
This is not a new concept for me.  I have heard the story of grace, and I understand that I cannot do anything for the Lord's love.  I understand that he is NOT counting my wrongs against me, but that He is loving, teaching, and molding me into something better.  However, how quick I am to write people off when I feel that their lifestyle is not deserving of my attention.  I do not think the church should tolerate sin.  There is biblical truth in church discipline.  However, relationships (true relationships) take grace.  It takes saying, I know that you messed up, and I know that you don't deserve my love, but I am gonna give it to you anyways because I just want to love you.  We do not live in that kind of society, and sadly the church is starting to look more and more like the world.  Saying your sorry is probably one of the most if not the most difficult thing in the world.  What if everytime I had to apologize to my husband, he just rolled his eyes?  What if he continued to hold my wrong over my head and made me earn his love back with deeds?  What if my husband never gave up of himself just so that he could love me?  What pain my heart would feel. 


                    What if everytime someone said, "Okay, I give up.  I can't run anymore. I'm sorry."

             We just opened our arms and said "Welcome Home!  Let the party begin... you came home."