Have you ever found it interesting that roses are the symbol for true romance? As cliche as they may be, I don't believe there are many women out there that would get upset if they came home and their husband had a bouquet of roses waiting for them. I love flowers. I am one of those odd girls that buy themselves flowers just so I can have fresh flowers on my table. I value the times that Michael will pick me a rose or a flower from a garden or from a path we are currently hiking. It makes me feel especially valued and loved. That seems so silly in writing, but I don't think I am alone. There is something about getting flowers, and there is really something about getting roses.
However, yesterday as I lay on my bed picking at the roses that lay on my pillow, my dear sweet husband tells me, "Be careful, they have thorns." That seemed such a perfect comment for the day we were having. Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our first year of marriage. People say that the first year is the hardest, but I can honestly say that marriage has been more natural than I believed it would be, and we have had a smooth year filled with wonderful memories. I can honestly say that in addition to a smooth year, Michael and I made it through a year without any fights. We had disagreements and frustrations, but when I think about fights I remember yelling and slamming doors. We lasted an entire year without a single fight... well almost.
Michael and I woke up Monday morning ready to be angry at each other. We laughed later that we should have both just went back to sleep and started the day over. I decided that instead of being submissive, I would be rebellious, and Michael decided instead of being patient, he would allow frustration to creep into his head. We were on our way to float the Buffalo, but we made it to Starbucks before Michael said that we couldn't do this today. It just didn't feel right. I made so many mistakes in the next few hours, and he did as well. I ended up driving to my sister-in-laws house because I honestly felt like it was the most reverent thing I could do at the time. I needed to back away from the situation. When I returned home there were two letters and roses on my pillow. We apologized to each other and came up with a plan to rescue the day.
Looking back on what happened, I almost laugh about how silly we were being. The emotions and the hurt was real, but the expression of that emotion and hurt was childish. One of the things my students never could understand was that for Michael and I, divorce is not an option. We made a covenant on our wedding day not a contract. That means that no matter how Michael disappoints me or how I disappoint Michael, we are together forever for better or worse. Our pastor made this very clear during premarital counseling and the wedding itself, but I would tell my students that no couple ever gets married hoping for a divorce. People marry hoping for a lifetime of happiness and love. However, after just a short time in marriage, reality sets in for a rude awakening. Men and women are so different. Michael and I accidentally hurt each other all the time without knowing why our actions hurt the other. Something I will say will just kill him and something he will do or most likely something he will forget to do will send me on a crazy train of fear and emotion.
Our Father in Heaven values the covenant of marriage as a symbol of His covenant with His people. He promises to love no matter what happens, and we to have to promise to love no matter what happens. My students would ask me questions like, "If Michael cheats on you, would you leave him then?" I would respond with I hope that I am mature enough that in that moment I would forgive. I would be hurt, and it would take awile to build trust, but I would forgive. Why? I cheat on God all the time by making other things my idols instead of worshipping Him. He forgives and loves despite my actions. Who am I to deny my husband the same forgiveness that God freely gives to me?
Roses have thorns, but we desire and cherish them anways. Marriage also has thorns. We haven't been married long. We still have that newlywed feel about us, but we are learning. Marriage takes a lot prayer, forgiveness, "I'm sorry," and obedience to the Word. It takes sacrafice of things you thought were very important, and it takes a kind word. It takes knowing that the enemy is against marriage and is trying to find ways to destroy your relationship. Many times my husband will remind me, "this is an attack from the enemy." Love is a choice. I get to decided if I am going to love Michael today. Love is not some crazy emotion that I have no control over.
I am thankful for my dear sweet husband who loves me much more than I could ever imagine! I cannot believe that I am so blessed to be married to such an amazing man. He is more forgiving and kind than I could ever hope to be.
We ended up hiking at Burns Park yesterday, and we had an amazing time! I bought my first pair of Chacos with my husband's hard earned money, and we had to get a little dirt on them. We cooked out with my sister-in-law and her family and finally ate a piece of our wedding cake. :) Last night as we held each other, we thanked each other for a beautiful day. A day that wouldn't have came if we were not willing to forgive and move on with our life and marriage.
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