Living with the Curse

"She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms..... And does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:17 and Proverbs 31:27b

Ice cream is not the enemy. Smores, also, are not the enemy. Size 13 jeans are not the enemy as well. There are many things about my PCOS diease that sends me into tears: the fact I may never get pregnant again or that I may never actually have a healthy pregnancy scares me. However, one of the most evident side effects of this beautiful curse is that I can gain or lose 5-8 pounds in a day. My weight fluctuates constantly and most of the time if fluctuates toward the gain side. What a normal person can eat and be fine sends me into a coma of pain because my sugar levels rise and quickly consume me.

This post, however, is not about how my PCOS effects me on a daily basis. This post is about the enemy. The enemy that whispers in my head that you are not pretty enough because I am not thin. The enemy that once allowed into my head consumes my entire day taking the focus off of the oppurtunities that God has before me and placing them back on my selfish view of myself. And you know what... it is selfish. It is very selfish to look in front of a mirror for an hour or so deciding what you like and what you don't like about yourself. More than that, it is dangerous. We, as in women, are God's princesses! We are to be valued and loved, and we are to value and love. The woman in the Bible is always presented around amazingly beautiful things, BUT have your realized that there is nowhere in the Bible that tells women what their body type should be. At least I haven't found it. The only real reference I can find are the verses above.

When Solomon's mother told him what too look for in a wife, she didn't care to instruct him to find a wife that eats less then 1,000 calories a day and can fit into a size 2 jean. She told him to find someone that wasn't lazy, practiced self control, and strengthened her arms. So, it shouldn't matter that my tummy is rounder than others as long as I practice the things that Solomon was instructed to look for in a wife. Self Control: means not downing a dozen donuts a day... maybe one a week. Eat the bread of idleness: put something else in your schedule besides television watching. Instead of watching two hours of television, plan meals for the week... this helps with self-control! Strengthen her arms: It is okay to sweat. My husband likes the fact that I run and work-out... not because he has some dream of me being a tiny girl but because he likes to see me working hard. And overall.... it says in Proverbs 31:30 that beauty will fade, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. I mean, have you ever seen a woman who really fears the Lord... I mean stands in amazement of who her Father is? She is beautiful!

What This Does in My Life: My self-image of myself is a curse. There is no other way to explain this horrid event. I grew up with a mother who always wanted to be thinner and a dad who always wanted her and me to be thinner. From the time I was aware of what it meant to have a body, I wanted to be thinner, more beautiful, and better put together than I was. This haunts me still. Each day, it takes an effort to yell out... "It's not true." I have to call the liar a liar because I have too much to do in this world, and I do not have time to mess around with him. He is a liar. Somedays, most days, I let him get to me though, and I fall back in old familiar habits.... like watching every bite I put into my mouth... can we say eating disorder?

What This Does in the World: Next time you go to the mall, step into Hollister. Look at the girl clothing and pick up a size Large shirt (I say Large because you probably won't find an Extra Large). Now if you are one of those people that can fit into that shirt, awesome... but ask yourself, is this a normal size large for normal size girls. In my dance class the other day, I have a girl that is taller than I am and weighs 120 pounds. She determined that she needed to loose 30 pounds to be the perfect size. Another girl, who is actually smaller, complained that she was also too fat and needed to loose like 20 pounds! I was shocked... these girls were the kinda of tiny that makes you want to bring them home and feed them. These girls were complaining about being too fat. Well of course they were! We have let the enemy invade our young girls.

Reality: It is the older women's responsibility to protect these young girls. Titus 2:4 instructs older women to teach the younger women. Let us all now promise to end this curse.