I have no idea what today is going to bring when it finally come to an end. Honestly, we never have an idea what today is going to bring, but sometimes, we like to think we do. I will go to work do this and that, and when I get home I will cook dinner or go here or there. It is a conversation that I have with myself many times during a day. There is always a long to-do list of things that need to be done, but today... God is revealing to me once again that HE is the ultimate control freak, and I just have to sit back and trust Him. This should be the easiest thing in the world... He has always proven faithful. He made me pregnant, and now He takes care of my child. He brought me a husband, and time and time again "extra" money appears because He put it there. He brought my husband a job, and He continues to provide one for me. However, when the world begins to spin out around me... I go back to old fears. I like to tell God that He is not faithful. It is like the pottery looking up to the potter and saying..."Hey, ummm... I know that you have made me perfect thus far, but I don't trust you to finish this job, so I am gonna take over. K... Thanks."
That is absurd! Today, when my husband gets off work, he is headed to the bank to discuss manners on a certain piece of land that some fine people at our church are selling. There are two things about this land that make me frustrated and about a million things that I love about it! The land has a remodled trailer on it, and it will require a few years commitment. I told my husband that I would follow him into a tent before I followed him into a trailer, and though, if need be I would pack my things and go... the idea of it does bring me to tears. I promise I am not stuck up, and I have my reasons. Also, a huge part of me is so afraid to committ to something that huge! We will want to build, and we will get started right away. That is going to take time and money.
Michael told me that He felt like God laid this land into our hands. We scratched out a design for a house, and we discuss the trailer manner (we are gonna rent it out and stay right where we are until the house is completed). Michael is going to go talk to the bank and because of another doctor's appointment (this is mean rolling my eyes) I cannot even go! By the end of the week, I could be an actual landowner. I could also be in few thousand dollars of debt and have a trailer for rent! It is two bedroom if anyone is interested.
The good things.... the land is more beautiful than I have seen in a long time. Michael and I would get to build the country home we dream of on top of hill! There is rolling hills and woods all around the land, and it comes ready to build (septic tank and well). It has a trailer that we could rent out, and my darling little sister-in-law loved the fact that it had a Gazebo... this was her favorite I think. It is around good neighbors, close to the city, but it is still out in the country. It was beautiful... the most beautiful land I have ever seen. Apparently, there has already been a lot of calls on the land. To own land... or at least have the bank own the land until we finally buy it out... has always been a huge dream of mine, and I married a builder! Off to work I go, and I will keep you updated, but please keep us in your prayers.
You got it girl. What a big decision and possibility God is laying in your lap. I'm reminded constantly that I have to trust God through my journey even when things seem like there is no way out. Yesterday in my devotional "Jesus Calling" it said some things I think you would appreciate:
ReplyDelete"Learn to appreciate difficult days. Be stimulated by the challenges you encounter along your way. As you journey through rough terrain with Me, gain confidence from your knowledge that together we can handle anything. This knowledge is comprised of three parts: your relationship with Me, promises in the Bible, and past experiences of coping successfully during hard times.
Look back on your life, and see how I have helped you through difficult days. If you are tempted to think, "Yes, but that was then, and this now," remember who I AM! Although you and your circumstances may change dramatically, I remain the same throughout time and eternity. This is the basis of your confidence. In My Presence you live and move and have your being."
It inspired me this week and I think God meant me to share this with you.
Sisters in Christ