This is my Heart

Happy New Year's Eve!

I am a person who loves to celebrate, and this holiday is no exception! Michael and I are at this moment hanging out in the hotel recovering from last night's outreach and preparing for tonight when we will get to go down town Atlanta to watch the Peach drop, which I am oddly very excited about. Michael and I were given some gift cards to a few restaurants for Christmas, and we have decided that we are going to get dressed up, and spend the night on a sweet date that is much needed. What are your plans for New Year's Eve? Do you have any traditions. Our family used to always eat black eyed peas, greens, and toast in the New Year with Sparkling Grape Juice. We used to announce our New Year's resolutions or goals, and when I was a child, we would have huge sleepovers where we would crown the New Year's Baby. It was a big deal. Before Michael and I left for Atlanta, I cooked a batch of black eyed peas, and I made a salad. I bought some Sparkling Grape Juice for our New Year's toast tomorrow. Michael laughs at me because of all my "celebrating," but in my eyes if we didn't celebrate this world may become too much for us. Chosing joy is important, and when my kids are grown I want each of them to say, "Mom made holidays fun!"

Last night, Michael and I went on our last night of outreach. During prayer time I found myself praying that God would raise His name higher and make less of me. I guess it is normal for a lot of people who spend time in ministry to get a certain arrogance about them. I have seen this take place in several people before, and I have noticed these feelings in my own heart. I am thankful for the wisdom that God has granted me to notice and pray against as soon as I feel pride and arrogance creeping up inside of me because the reality is, we can do nothing. Christ works through us, but He doesn't need us. We get to be apart of His story. I am thankful that He loves me and my husband enough to make us apart of His story.

Honestly, both Michael and I left outreach last night feeling very frustrated. Our prayer time before outreach was beautiful. Michael and I got to pray for each other, and God gave me words for Nightlight that I was allowed to pray over them, and I was given a vision from some scripture that I read earlier this week. My vision came from Pslams 3:5-6. The scripture reads, "I lie down and sleep, I wake again because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side." I picture myself in the middle of thousand of people ready to assail me and destroy me, and on my face is a smile because I fear not for the Lord is with me. Then I pray that those who wish to destroy me see the battle they are about to enrage in and suddenly their eyes are open to see hundreds of thousands of angels ready to fight and destroy. There is no fear. This is the picture I was given, and I was sure the Lord was going to give me courage to speak great things to people.

However, the instant we set out I was silenced. The first club we tried to get into, they only let a few people in on occassion. I was one of those chosen to enter, but when we got to the door, it was the same story. We had come too late, and we were not going to be allowed in the club to see the girls. We dropped off some gifts with the house mom. We got to pray for her, and there were two men with us that got to pray with the bouncers. We went out to eat after leaving the first club, and I still felt wonderful. Michael was busily talking to the other men, and I was delighted to see how comfortable my husband is in talking with strangers when I am more timid and shy. However, after we ate, we sat around for a long time. I suddenly became sick to the point of wanting to vomit, and my head ached severly. I prayed over my body, but I was hurting so badly that I couldn't even focus. I lost control of my emotions and became sad and frustrated that it was evident that I was not going to be well enough to pray and focus like I wanted to so badly. I have been feeling poorly all week, so I was not completely shocked.

When we finally left the restaurant, our team leader decided that we should go back to a club that we visited last weekend. A part of me was excited because there was a girl there that I would have loved to see again, but a part of me was very discouraged. This club is very welcoming to us. The owner is a believer (another story for another time), so she welcomes us every time we come. Michael could tell that I was hurting and frustrated, so he kept whispering patience in my ear. We walked into the club, and I went straight to the back of the dressing room. The girl I was looking for wasn't present though. I bounced around the room trying to make relationships with the girls, but something was just off. Do you know what I mean when stuff is just off? I talked to a few girls, but I am sad to say that I didn't pray over any of them. One of the girls was talking about how whenever someone prays for her that it always comes true. Almost like magic, and she was just amazed. I was frustrated to hear my God talked about like he was a quarter machine, but I was too sick and tired to process everything. I talked to a couple of sweet girls who were much younger than I am and barely legal. I asked one of them if she had any plans for school or anything. She had just graduated high school. I talked to another one that spent Christmas alone because she didn't have any family around here because she just decided one time that she was tired of living at home and took off. She found herself in Atlanta. I prayed the Lord's name over the area. There is freedom in His name. These girls needed freedom. That is all I wanted for them, but that is all I want for anyone that doesn't know the Lord. Freedom.

After we left the club, which honestly we took a lot longer than my selfish patience would have liked, we traveled to a trailer park. I was told that once upon a time a lot of prostitution took place here, but most of the prostitution has left and now there is a lot of drug dealing. However, where we were there were a lot of children. The trailers were some of the worse I have ever seen. I have no idea if they would have even been considered livable. There were a few that were okay, but mostly it was like a scrap pile. A few of the trailers (even the ones with boards covering the holes to keep out the cold) had Christmas lights and trees in the windows. It brought joy to my heart. This is the time of year where everyone is in search for joy. What better set up for those trying to spread the love of Christ. Our mission was to walk through and pray for the homes. Michael and I walked hand in hand without fear (God granted so much courage) and prayed for the community.

I know this is a long post, but God taught me so much last night, and I was thankful. It is hard processing through the information, but God woke me up this morning and took me to these verses in Ecclesiastes 3. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." A time for war and a time for peace. That is what outreach is, war. It is spiritual warfare, and it is a battle field. There is a time for laughter, fun and silliness. There is a time for preperation, but then there is a time for war, and when you are in battle, you have to be in battle. War should not take place all the time, but when war does happen, you must be focus. These times come through the Lord, so when the Lord gives you times of peace you take advantage and live in joy, but when the Lord brings you a battle, you focus and you battle. That is what God taught me in the trailer park.

After the trailer park, I got into the van, and sadly but because of God's divine appointment, I did not leave the van. We went to two other places that are basically what we would call whore houses. We had some interesing run ins with the police, but Michael and I stayed where God had us at in the moment. I want to be frustrated and ashamed at the thought that I didn't do more, but honestly it isn't "me" anyways. It is God, and I just get to be apart of the whole thing. I do not know if Michael and I will ever do this type of ministry ever again. I wish I could tell you that God gave us this great vision, and we are on our way to changing the world. God is not ready for us to have that knowledge though. Michael and I will bring what we learned (which is a lot) back home with us, and we will share our testimonies to whoever will want to listen, but in the end I have realized now that GOD is in control of time. My word for 2012 will be timing. God's timing is perfect, and I just need to be patient in my anticipation of what He is doing.

Anyhow, thank you for reading my words... they were many. Thank you for your prayers. We have five more days in Atlanta where we will get to experience Passion. Ironically enough, one of our team members just got invited to speak at Passion. I am excited for her, and God gave me words to pray for her. We are now gonna get all fancied up and go experience Atlanta New Year's Eve.

I leave you with this...

"Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on His law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit IN SEASON and whose leaf does not wither whaterever they do prospers." Psalm 1

Have you ever been in a Brothel?

The view from our window at the hotel. We are right across from the airport, so we get to watch planes take off and land.

Have you ever walked through a brothel? I mean a REAL brothel. I could have said that I never had, but last night when the main club we were trying to get into told us that we couldn't come, the team leaders decided that we would go to this extended stay hotel. However, it wasn't like the hotel we had seen earlier in the day. There were no precious babies, or at least we didn't see any at the time. As soon as we walked into the hotel, I knew there was a difference. I cannot write in depth about what I saw. However; I can tell you that there were many cars and trucks parked outside of this brothel (that is what I eventually found out the hotel was), but you don't see very many people. I feel like all we really saw was 10-15 people, men and women. I was honored by God to finally find the courage to pray for one woman. It was easier to start conversations because we had Christmas gifts to bring them, but my naivete still showed when I asked a woman why her sister couldn't come out to meet us to get her gift. The woman just laughed at me. If I was her, I would have probably lauged too. Eventually the man behind the desk allowed us to walk the hallways. We do not pray for these areas to be shut down because then the women and the men would just go somewhere else. We pray for the transformation of the already open establishments. We also pour business into the establishments that are providing jobs that do not include sexual bondage. That is why we drove right into the red light district to eat at Waffle House after prayer time.

As we walked the halls, I prayed. Michael came with us, but he had to stand in the back of the line, and I was so thankful that he came. Another man was with the group, but he was with another group of women downstairs. One word came to me once it was all over and done with...

Inhuman

The people we saw walking around definitely didn't seem natural. You could tell that the bondage on these people was so tight that they couldn't tell fact from fiction. Maybe that is why they result to drug use. Anways, we are about to have to leave again, so I am going to have to make this quick.

After the brothel, we went to a club. God finally got me to a place where I was courageous to pray and speak, but I still felt very rushed in everything that I did. The girls needed to make money and who I am to keep them from the very thing that is going to put food in their babies' mouths. I had to become the master of small talk. The questions I hate most in the world became the most important. I met so many girls with so many dreams and taking their clothes off for men was definitely not one of those dreams.

I am so thankful for God that this morning Michael and I can smile and laugh and enjoy our Christmas Eve on the road. He alone has given us much peace about our work here. I am thankful that other men attended last night giving Michael someone to pray with in the parking lots. I am thankful that Michael is a servant. God is good all the time, and there is FREEDOM in HIS NAME. That is the one thing I kept praying over everyone and every place.

I will leave you with this: 1 Tessalonians 5:12-19

12 And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves. 14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. 15 See that no one renders evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all. 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies. 21 Test all things; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil.

Waking up(ish) Saturday morning. It feels so good to finally get some consistent sleep.

I should be sleeping....

Regretfully, the picture above is the only picture I have of our trip thus far, and it was taken at our home. However, I wanted to share how grateful Michael and I are for the blessings that our friends and family have bestowed upon us while we were preparing for this trip.

I wish I could have more pictures. I wish I had pictures of the little babies that I got to kiss, tickle, and love on this afternoon. I wish I had pictures of Michael carrying two or three boxes of food across the street to the hotel/shelter/housing area. (We were really not sure exactly what it was.) I wish I even had pictures of the traveling itself, but honestly, it feels like I woke up around 10am yesterday, and have not stopped moving. God has been good to us as far as travels go, and Michael and I (though tired) really do have a lot of energy coming from Him alone, and we pray this energy sustains until we finally get to rest again tonight.

We finally arrived in Atlanta today a few minutes late because we forgot about the time change. We drove straight into the church parking lot changing at a gas station a few miles away. We took turns sleeping and driving, and we did stop in Alabama at a friend's home to get a couple of hours rest in a real bed. As soon as we got to the church it was go-time. We were bussed to a warehouse where there seemed a few hundred people were gathered awaiting the "Christmas Party." There was a place for children to get haircuts, inflateables, a Santa Claus where you could get a picture, a food bank where you could pick up a few boxes of food, an area to get clothes, an area to get some pizza and something to drink, and finally, a prayer tent. I honestly did not get to watch a whole lot of the action. Michael and I were put to work almost immediately. Three different areas were invited. They live in what was explained as hotels, but I'm not very sure if the hotels themselves are still in business.

I don't have much longer. We have to get up from our nap, get dressed in warmish clothes, and then head back out. I am going to beg Michael to stop at a Starbucks! We go out on the streets tonight, and when we return I will post again as soon as I am able to explain what my heart is struggling with. Michael and I are safe. We are staying in a good place, and we are having a blast. Thank you for all of your prayers.

What Makes a Man a Man?

What makes a man a man?

Does mere adulthood qualify a man to be considered/called a man?

I am teaching Economics to my special education students next semester… now there’s a laugh. I took that course in college, and I struggled to understand. However, the most important thing is supply and demand right?

Supply and Demand.

Supply and DEMAND.

The sex industry and human trafficking is a multiBILLION dollar industry.

Supply and Demand.

I am beginning to believe that if God actually does continue to direct my husband and me into this particular type of ministry, my husband may actually have a more important role than I have. My job is to tell girls that there is freedom in the love of Christ and that He can break the bondage that these girls may have been placed in at a very early age. My job is to offer a way out and defeat the lies the enemy feeds into their heads about there being no way out of the industry once you either willing step in or get thrown in.

However, according to economics if there was no DEMAND than there would not be a need for a SUPPLY.

Right?

So then, is my husband’s job to find a way to decrease the demand?

I heard once that the men that travel to Thailand to visit the red light districts usually go on business trips. This means that these particular men are the men out there that are making the big money. These are the men that unknowing college students desire to be like. These are the real “men” of our society.

Is that what a man is though… someone who makes a lot of money?

Men were naturally made stronger than women so that men could protect women. Why, then, are there women too afraid to speak about the bruises that they bear?

I have spoken with women before who long to be at home taking care of their house and their children, but because of the money choices when it has come to debt, these women must continue working.

I am not a “man-hater.” I do battle between feelings of hate and disgust and feelings of grief when I think about the men out there. Did anybody teach them what it means to be a man, husband, or father? My heart breaks for them, and I fall on my knees in thanksgiving that my husband’s father stood by his sons. He taught them the value of work. He taught them how to hold a child, love their wives, and my wonderful mother-in-law taught her sons how to respect.

In my house, a courageous man lives. A man who prays, laughs, cleans, and loves. A man who is patient and kind hangs his keys in my hallway. A man who seeks wisdom from the word of God and works until his whole body hurts sleeps in my bed. A man who is never too tired to play or go on crazy adventures eats at my table. A man who is quick to forgive holds my hand when we pray. A man who leads a family in truth and not in manipulation or force wakes me up every morning with a smile and on occasion, breakfast.

I am able to be this Proverbs 31 woman the Bible declares because of the God I serve and the man I share my life with.

Michael and I's First Christmas(ish)

Because Michael and I are leaving for Atlanta the night before Christmas Eve and we will be spending most of the holidays on the road, with friends, or at an hotel, we decided that we would celebrate Christmas a weekend early. We had a great time celebrating our very first Christmas as a married couple together. We drove around town delivering gifts to family and friends, and we even made a few unexpected stops. Here are a few pictures of our night together.

I made finger food for dinner because I just get so sick of eating around the holidays, but after Michael and I were on our way home, we were too hungry for just finger foods. We ended up ordering a pizza from Pizza Hut and sharing a couple of cokes from glass bottles. It was a good Christmas Eve dinner!

We decided instead of sleeping in our bed, a better option would be to make a pallett on the floor so that we could watch a movie and fall asleep under the Christmas lights. Problem #1 was that we were so excited about opening Christmas presents that it was hard to stay asleep. Problem #2 is that we have concrete floors. Next year, we are buying an air matress.

Starting new traditions is a great joy in my new little family. Also taking some old traditions from the past and incorporating them into my life now is so much fun. We get to open one gift on Christmas Eve. :) This was my gift, and they were beautiful pajamas. Michael got to open up his pajamas as well. Another tradition Michael and I are trying to start is that we each have to make one gift. This year I got a whole bunch of spices in my stocking because Michael had made me this beautiful spice rack. It isn't quite finished. I get to paint it myself.

Michael opening his big gift. I guess we are on our way to being a musical family.
My big gift was a new Bible, and it had my married name on it!

Stocking Suffers

No Catchy title... Just the Facts: Atlanta Trip

In 16 days, my husband and I will land in the great city of Atlanta, Georgia. I have only been there twice before, but there is a feeling about any city that I just can't shake. Though, I will always desire to live in the country, the city is such a great mission field. My heart breaks for the city, but "there is hope" to quote Mrs. Beaver from Narnia. My husband and I are going to enjoy the city while we are there, I'm not gonna lie. I guess that would be the "trip" part of the word "mission trip."

Maybe that is why they call it a "mission trip?" Oh well...

However, my husband and I are not going to Atlanta for just a trip, my husband and I are going to go to Atlanta to serve with Nightlight International Atlanta. www.nightlightinternational.org

Haha, I say serve. I am pretty sure for the most part both my husband and I will be silent praying that we remember all of the rules and regulations Nightlight sent us and hoping to learn as much as we can from an organization who is making a huge difference in the red light districts of Atlanta, Los Angles, and Thailand. Both Michael and I are excited about the oppurtunity, but to say that we were not afraid would be lying.

So What Will We Be Doing?

Michael and I will be working with both the internvention and prevention teams. We will be helping Nightlight with a Christmas party that they are hosting for at-risk youth in the Atlanta area. We will also be going out with their outreach program both Friday nights that we are in town. Nightlight's outreach program goes into the two major redlight districts of Atlanta and prays with the girls who are caught up in the sex industry.

Why Are We Doing This?

We feel like God has led our hearts to this type of ministry, and for the sake of me I do not know why He would pick us, but we are trying to stay unafraid and open to God's voice. Michael and I have discussed several times that we would like to open a camp or safe house for girls and children coming out of human trafficking or the sex industry. We are really not sure which as of yet, but they sort of go hand in hand. Michael and I have gotten to spend a little time in the last year working under the leadership of Not For Sale Arkansas, but with my busy school schedule, we have had to put our work on hold for a little while. Nightlight Atlanta has set up relationships with most of the club owners in the red light districts, however, so they have a different type of ministry happening. Michael and I both feel like we will get a better insight to this type of work by going to Atlanta and working under Nightlight. However, that is not to say that Michael and I are not very aware that we have major issues of this sort occuring in Arkansas as well. Believe me, the feeling I get from being in Atlanta is the same feeling I get by being in Conway. There is just something about the city.

Schedule?

Thursday 22nd: Michael and I leave for Alabama

Friday 23rd: Michael and I arrive in Atlanta. Christmas Party. First Outreach.

Saturday (early morning) 24th: Michael and I travel back to Alabama.

Sunday 25th (Merry Christmas): Michael and I travel back to Arkansas.

Thursday 29th: Michael and I travel back to Alabama.

Friday the 30th: Michael and I travel back to Atlanta. 2nd Outreach.

Saturday 31 (happy New Year's Eve): Michael and I will watch the Peach Drop!

Sunday 1: Michael and I will tailgate for our first NFL game, whether or not we attend is still in Debate.

Monday 2-Thursday 5: Michael and I attend Passion 2012

www.268generation.com

Needs?

God has provided more than enough for this trip! The only thing Michael and I asked for was that our friends and family purchase gas cards for us this year for Christmas, and if you feel led to pray our specific prayer needs are as follows :

That the ministry be blessed with an abundance of men when Michael and I go. The men sit in the parking lots when the women go into the clubs. I am afraid of Michael being in the parking lot by himself.

That our car/truck make both trips without any problems.

That Michael and I can remember all the rules and regulations concerning our behavior.

Finally, that we are slow to speak and quick to listen.

Self-Indulgence: Sin

Early yesterday, my darling car decided that it didn’t want to start. I love my dear little red car very much, and though it isn’t much as far as the pretty department goes, and it is older than a lot of the kids that I teach, it is my little red car, and I do get offended when people talk about it poorly. My little red car was a gift from God that came when I was desperate for an answer to a prayer. That little red car has taken me to Alabama on countless occasions and to Nashville and Missouri as well. We were planning on taking the little red car to Atlanta when we left for our “mission trip” (I hate that name and wish there was another name for what we are going to do with the Nightlight organization). We are not sure why my little red car decided to quit working, but in the rain and cold, I stood glaring at a car that has given many blessings and many headaches. I decided to call in for a sub for my morning classes, and I took my time finding a ride to school and set a ride up to get home from school. Honestly, it was an easy morning. I got to finish decorating Christmas ornaments from the previous weekend, and I got to visit with my dear sister-in-law on the phone while waiting for my dad to come and just fix it… which is what husbands and dads are good for right?

All that is to say that when my husband finally got home from work, it was man vs. machine in the driveway, and man won. He charged the car, let it run for awhile, and later that night, when we were headed to a basketball game for a team that my brother-in-law helps manage, it was the car my husband picked to drive. Why? Because Michael is man, and man will defeat machine. I will tell you, there is nothing better than watching my husband overcome. The night was fantastic. The game was good, and I was proud of my brother-in-law for the work that he does. I saw Houston Nutt at the game, and despite myself I got up during half-time and went to shake his hand. I swear, I remind myself of my mom so many times. My mom lives without fear in situations like those. I quickly texted my mom to tell her all that I had done. We went to the gym to run after the game, and, finally, were on our way home. It was rainy and cold, but the conversation was good.

However, the drive home ended poorly when a car going about two miles per hour decided to switch into our lane without even a blinker. Michael swerved to miss the guy, and we ended up in somebody’s yard with a blown tire and a bent rim. The man began to drive off, but Michael quickly started honking the horn and flashing the lights to get the man’s attention. The man pulled over and came to us, and it was evident from first sight, that the man was not in the right state of mind. I don’t really know the SMELL of marijuana, but its effect on the human body is unmistakable. Hopefully the issue will all be worked out. I checked on-line to find that a new tire and rim costs about 200 dollars, but the cops filed all of our insurance information, and our insurance told us they would take care of the whole issue. More than likely, Michael and I will not have to pay for the tire to be replaced. I am thankful that we were in the car instead of the truck because if we were in the truck, we might have really hurt the man.

On my drive to school today (in the truck; this time machine won), I begin to ponder all of my sin… a scary thing to think about, and how I have hurt people because of my sin. My self-indulgence has hurt more people than I know, but that is the purpose of sin right? To harm? To destroy? This man will never know that my husband and I have been saving every penny we could to afford a trip to Atlanta to work with the fight against human trafficking. If we do have to pay the 200 dollars, this man will never understand how those 200 dollars instead of going to a new tire and rim would have been used to afford gas for traveling or spend for some better charity at Passion. That man’s sin caused multiple consequences. However, I am not purposefully picking on that man, for there is not a bone in my body that fears Michael and I will not have the money to go to Atlanta (by the way if you are looking for a Christmas present for us, a $10 gas card would be perfect). Also, I am more than thankful all that was lost was a tire and rim. The whole incident just made me stop and realize what my own selfishness can do.

In Passionate Pursuit

I would hate to be my husband at this moment. Christmas is coming soon, and in an effort to establish early in our family that Christmas is primarily about the birth of our precious Savior and the season should be more about giving than getting, we established a four present rule. This means that we give eachother only four presents each year, and when we have children, they too will receive only four presents.

This plan seemed perfect a year ago when we were discussing what Christmas was going to look like in our family, but in practice it can be a little harder. My husband loves me, but more than that he takes in pride in all the things that I love. We were driving home the other night, and he started bouncing around ideas about what to get me for Christmas, and I was stunned at all the things that God has used to give me an idenity. The person Christ made when He entered into my life is so much more diverse and interesting than I could have ever imagined, and oddly enough, I spend most of my time feeling like He messed up somewhere. Such a foolish child I am.

In reality, I am as diverse as the colors in nature itself, and I wish... oh how I wish that I could remember more often to speak truth about who I am instead of listening to the enemy's lies. As a matter of fact, even today, I was pondering whether or not I should start a few different blogs because it is hard to contain everything the Creator has given me to say in just one post every couple of days. God is amazing!


So without further adue, I present... Because I needed a reminder.

When God entered my life....

My best friend became the guitar.
I learned how to see beauty more and wanted to capture that beauty in photography.
I learned how to use my natural ability of placing words together to bring glory to Him.
I became a mother to many.
I became a passionate pursurer of what is right and just.
I became in love with the fight against the sex industry and human trafficking.
I became a friend that wasn't afraid to take chances or even on occassion speak truth.
I became a traveler.
I became a lover of good coffee and better music.
I developed an admiration for simple and peaceful things.
I developed a love for vegetables and fruits.
I created a salad in a box: Where I grew the lettuce, tomatoe, and everything else needed.
I created a home for not just my husband but several people before him.
I became aware of my disease and how to battle the disease.
I became a camp counselor with a passion for movement.
I learned to dance... and the freedom found in dance.
I became a sister.
I learned to lay on the floor and laugh because there is nothing else to do.
I learned how to run.
I became a runner.
I gained wisdom on how to balance money, food, and life.

God has created a woman that I would have never dreamed of being. When I was in high school I created two lists. The first list had two columns. The first column was everything that I thought I was, and the second column was everything that I wanted to be. It was evident how much I hated myself. The second list I created was a detailed list of everything I wanted to accomplish and by what age I wanted to accomplish the goal. Both list make me cry and laugh now. After I had been a Christian for a few months, I created a new list... Everything that God said I was. Occassionally, I have to go back and ask God again for Him to reveal to me who I am in Him.

The time is coming to take more steps in faith, and I always want to stay....

In Passionate Pursuit.

When Dreams Come True...

I am not nor have I ever been one of those girls that believed you need a man to "Complete" you. God made me into an individual, and He alone completes me. He made me whole when He entered into my heart, but my relationship with Michael is very important. I tell him as much as I can that he is my hero, and I mean it with all my heart. Ever since I was a little girl, I have had dreams of what my life would look like when I got older, and how I was to celebrate holidays was always something that I spent a serious amount of time pondering. Michael and I were driving to the house yesterday, and he asked me if I had a good Thanksgiving day. I smiled, and I said it was and still is the best Thanksgiving I think I can ever remember having. Not that holidays were not special at my house, but Michael makes sure that everything is so special in the simplest way. We both love to celebrate, and he really does make my dreams come true. We are not finished with our Thanksgiving week yet. We will be spending all day Saturday together, and we will spend Sunday with his family. The following are just some pictures of how Michael made this holiday season special.

Since Michael and I are leaving for Nightlight during Christmas, we have to celebrate Christmas early. I was so afraid we were not going to get anything done in time for us to celebrate Christmas. Thanksgiving morning, when Michael woke up, he decided to go get us a Christmas tree. I was so excited! Then he told me where he was going to get it from. I won't say we STOLE our Christmas tree, we just took advantage of a vacant home and vacant land. **shrugs**


I am beastly! I will defeat that Christmas tree!

Michael putting up Christmas lights on his own house for the very first time.

The finished product.

Our Black Friday shopping faces. I wasn't going to go, but Michael asked if I would go because he had never been. I had the best time running around the store army style texting and calling Michael. He was the perfect alliance.

My very first wreath ever, and it is a Paula original!

Saw this on pintrest, and I had to try it out! Our wedding invitation cut up and made into spirals. Then I placed it into a glass ball.

This Angel will eventually go on top of our tree.

Dancing in the Rain

Today... I am split on what I want to post about, and since I don't have a lot of time, I guess I better figure it out quickly. I know today that I am mixture of frustration and thankfulness. My body is finally back to normal.. meaning I got my wonderful curse back. I guess in my heart of hearts I wanted to believe that I had gotten pregnant again. You know what though... life moves on.

Today I am thankful that

31: I am drinking tea from Tawain given to us by our amazing family in Tawain spreading God's love.

32: I got to talk to Katie Opris this morning on Skype who is busy planting an orphanage in Romania.

33: A girl who is working in Korea to spread the love of Christ reminded me that I have a pomengrant in my fridge.

34: Nightlight international is excited about seeing us down in Atlanta.

35: We are going to get to help with a Christmas party for Nightlight's prevention program when we are in Atlanta.

36: My husband is good at taking care of his responsibilities at home.

37: My husband dances with me in the rain.

38: Everyone's Operation shoebox pictures on facebook.

39: After unpacking my Christmas stuff, I found Camp Skyline's old Christmas cards.

40: Maddie is heading for South Africa soon, and though I don't get to speak with her often, I know that God is already preparing a journey for her.

Be amazed at what God's church is doing!

We are reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe in my English classes, and yesterday we discussed what the world would be like if it was always winter and never Christmas. C.S. Lewis was honestly setting up the perfect picture of what a world without Christ looked like. Narnia was cold, sick, and without any hope or love. When the Pevensie children entered Narnia, hope came back to Narnia. It is like Christ coming into a world of darkness, hope came. The birth of love, joy, hope, and peace came when that little baby was born into a manger. I am learning more and more each day how important Christmas really is to the world. I was explaining this to my class the other day, and a few of them understood.

Imagine for a moment.... living without hope. What would my life be, if I lived without any hope of a bigger purpose? There would be no reason for life. Anyways... everything I am thankful for today really does have a common theme. They all deal with the church, not the building but the body of Christ. The church who is filled with the knowledge of hope, love, peace, and joy. I am thankful for the people who are today, this moment, pursuing Christ and living out His word... in big ways like Katie in Romania and in small things like my husband taking me in his arms and spinning me around outside barefoot in the rain because he knows where his responsiblities lie.

I have been reading and praying about the Church a lot lately because sometimes I feel like we miss what Christ was trying to say when He discussed the Church. I was frustrated with some things occuring the other day, and I fell upon chapter 2 and 3 in Revelations which really opened my eyes. God addresses the different types of churches, and tears filled my eyes as I pondered what Church was I lifting up the most... again not an actual building or name, but what type of life I was pursuing.

I decided that I don't wanna be...

The Loveless Church (2:1-7): Where I forget to love the Lord who placed my very breath inside of me, and I forget to love His people.

The Compromising Church (2:12-17) Where I tolerate anyone limiting what Christ did on the cross.

The Lukewarm Church (3:14-22) Where I take on an attitude of indifferance where people cannot tell if I am a Christian or not.

The Corrupt Church (2:18- 29) Where I tolerate sin and truth mixed into one.

The Dead Church (3:1-6) Where my works, though great, are for the simple act of work and being busy. Where there is no hope or love or joy or peace. I am dead.

Instead I want to be the faithful church and during times of persecution, I want to be the enduring church. I am no longer a child. My thoughts, therefore, should no longer be those of a child.

Today, I make a choice to quit hiding behind fear... to be alive... to accept the fact that I have grown up, and tomorrow.... I'll probably have to remind myself again.

Because it is Monday

I am so very thankful that

#21 I have a husband who told me yesterday that he LIKES to bring me breakfast in bed.

#22 That I am putting the Christmas tree up in my classroom today.

#23 That we are going to start reading The Lion, The Whitch and The Wardrobe a week early because I am sick of the 8 parts of speech.

#24 We actually had some fall like weather the last couple of days.

#25 Our pastor finally sent off our pastoral referrels for the NightLight International Program

#26 That we got a letter in the mail yesterday from Passion and Compassion.

#27 That the Angel for the Angel Tree came out yesterday.

#28 Only one more full week before the week of Thanksgiving Break

#29 Hillsong United is coming to Little Rock, and we are sooooo going!

#30 This coming weekend, my hubby and I are going to Hot Springs because a dear friend of ours decided we needed a weekend getaway trip.

That Stupid Negative Line

One of the many blessing I received when I got married was that I got to become an aunt to three amazingly beautiful little girls. I love walking through the door and seeing their faces light up, and I love that their dear and beautiful mother has taught them and is teaching them how to live a life of simplicity. I have this wonderful dream of my children and Diana's children playing together, fighting over toys, and taking naps together. Michael and I got to babysit these darling children the other night, and spending all that time with them made my heart fill with joy!

We are well into Novemember, almost Thanksgiving, and I am amazed at the blessings God continues to outpour on my life. Teaching Special Education children has been a great enjoyment the past few months, and if I had to spend time out of my home, there is no other place I would rather spend my time. My Special Education children teach me more than I teach them, and honestly, I would love to take every single one of them home. For example, there is one boy in my class that has some kind of social disorder and is very angry most of the time. I love his smile, and he has such a servant heart. He makes me laugh everyday, and before he leaves my classroom, I make sure to tell him that I love him. He barely speaks, and when he does it is hard to understand him, but he has stolen my heart. We all went bowling the other day for Special Olympics. The children were allowed to play in the arcade once we were done bolwing. This little boy got me a beautiful plastic bracelet from a quarter machine, and he couldn't wait to give it to me. My job and Michael's job keeps up busy, but honestly, I could not have asked for a better six months of marriage as a newlywed.

Yes, I am blessed beyond belief, but this morning, I have spent most of my time in tears. It has been six weeks since our miscarriage, and though we have only been married six months, and there really is no hurry getting pregnant again.... every negative pregnancy test still puts me through a flurry of emotions. It has been six weeks since our miscarriage, and I still haven't had a period. If I was back on my normal schedule I should have had a period last weekend. We waited until this weekend to test again. I was fine with not even testing, but yesterday, I was having some serious nausea when riding in a car... a normal pregnancy symptom. I guess, I got my hopes up, and I guess God is still saying... no, not yet.

My life become a series of contradictions. God says to be still and wait, but in my desire to control I begin thinking of new things to do to keep my mind focused off of the pain that miscarriage, polycystic, and in ability cause. God tells me to forgive and do not judge, but I have a tendency to judge every parent that walks through my doors at school or that I see on the street. God tells me that He has a plan, purpose, and a future for me, but I question his decision to take away or miracle baby and then possibly not give me another. I feel like my life and decisions have become pretty messy lately. This morning as I fixed my breakfast, I let a tear drop down my cheek for nothing expect my attitude to the Lord. My prayer.... God, I'm sorry. I am Your daughter, and You are my Daddy, and You have always been there to protect me, and I love You. It was the only words I could really get out.

There are so many blessings that I cannot even begin to count them. I have three beautiful nieces that love me, and I love them. I have the most amazing man on the face of the planet as my husband. I have two church families that love, care, and pray for us constantly. I have been given a passion from God that enables me to fight against those who try to trap and sell women, men, and children. I have been giving an everlasting life that I am already living out, and I have the best family a person could ever desire.

Uncle Michael and Aunt Paula with three of the most beautiful girls!

Don't Forget to Pack Your Shoeboxes

Hot Cocoa: CHECK!

Husband: CHECK

Wrapped Boxes: CHECK

Presents for Girl 5-9: CHECK

Presents for Boy 5-9: CHECK

Presents for Boy 10-13:CHECK

Happy Couple with Shoeboxes: CHECK

Family Life Church: On their way!

From Rags to Riches

A camera cannot bring out the true beauty of this amazing rag doll. We finished making them at church last night, and we I got in the truck with my husband I just kept looking at it and smiling. I almost felt as if I had turned five-years-old again, and this was the new doll that I have begging my mother and father to buy me. I smile when I think about the day that I have little girls old enough to make these dolls. They are not difficult, just scraps of linen torn and knotted together, and they are not expensive. However, it is becoming increasinlgy interesting to me how much we cherish those things that are not expensive or difficult. The simplicity in beauty. Who says you cannot find enjoyment if you are poor?



The meaning behind this doll though is so important. It stands as a symbol for women coming to the Lord and seeking forgiveness for their actions. I love being a newlywed. There is always something to learn and see and do, but I must be honest... most of the time I feel like a failure. Anyone else have that feeling? I have a full time teaching job, and I am trying to make a good home and run about 3-4 ministries. There is a lot of room for failure... like the fact that I still have about three loads of laundry left and my kitchen is a wreck. Not only that, but my dear husband is a people person, and from the moment he gets home until we go to bed, we spend most of our nights visiting people and loving on them. This was great this past summer when I was home and able to get everything I needed to get done before he got home, but now, many things get put on hold... and it can be exhausting. It also leaves a lot of room for Satan to attack... like last night when I spent 15 minutes in the car before church just in tears. God teaches a lot through the storms though, and I am sure that every minutes spent in the chiropratic office and every moment at school will soon be some great lesson someday.



My husband is good though. Each feeble attempt I make at being a good wife he lifts up in excitement and joy. He excites over me even though my feeble attempts seem like rags. Isn't that what we give God? He takes our rags and makes beautiful things out of them. He took me and made a doll, individual and beautiful. You want to know something cooler I learned while making this doll? This doll did none of the work. I made her. I made her parts, stitched her together and even clothed her. I spent special time on areas that I felt were most difficult, and I took an unusual amount of time picking out the fabric to make her dress. The whole time, this doll just sat there and offered herself to be used. I pray each day that I make myself available for God to use... even when it hurts sometimes. Michael and I have talked in depth about me staying at home next year, but I am not at next year yet.

Be anxious for nothing...

I have no idea what today is going to bring when it finally come to an end. Honestly, we never have an idea what today is going to bring, but sometimes, we like to think we do. I will go to work do this and that, and when I get home I will cook dinner or go here or there. It is a conversation that I have with myself many times during a day. There is always a long to-do list of things that need to be done, but today... God is revealing to me once again that HE is the ultimate control freak, and I just have to sit back and trust Him. This should be the easiest thing in the world... He has always proven faithful. He made me pregnant, and now He takes care of my child. He brought me a husband, and time and time again "extra" money appears because He put it there. He brought my husband a job, and He continues to provide one for me. However, when the world begins to spin out around me... I go back to old fears. I like to tell God that He is not faithful. It is like the pottery looking up to the potter and saying..."Hey, ummm... I know that you have made me perfect thus far, but I don't trust you to finish this job, so I am gonna take over. K... Thanks."

That is absurd! Today, when my husband gets off work, he is headed to the bank to discuss manners on a certain piece of land that some fine people at our church are selling. There are two things about this land that make me frustrated and about a million things that I love about it! The land has a remodled trailer on it, and it will require a few years commitment. I told my husband that I would follow him into a tent before I followed him into a trailer, and though, if need be I would pack my things and go... the idea of it does bring me to tears. I promise I am not stuck up, and I have my reasons. Also, a huge part of me is so afraid to committ to something that huge! We will want to build, and we will get started right away. That is going to take time and money.

Michael told me that He felt like God laid this land into our hands. We scratched out a design for a house, and we discuss the trailer manner (we are gonna rent it out and stay right where we are until the house is completed). Michael is going to go talk to the bank and because of another doctor's appointment (this is mean rolling my eyes) I cannot even go! By the end of the week, I could be an actual landowner. I could also be in few thousand dollars of debt and have a trailer for rent! It is two bedroom if anyone is interested.

The good things.... the land is more beautiful than I have seen in a long time. Michael and I would get to build the country home we dream of on top of hill! There is rolling hills and woods all around the land, and it comes ready to build (septic tank and well). It has a trailer that we could rent out, and my darling little sister-in-law loved the fact that it had a Gazebo... this was her favorite I think. It is around good neighbors, close to the city, but it is still out in the country. It was beautiful... the most beautiful land I have ever seen. Apparently, there has already been a lot of calls on the land. To own land... or at least have the bank own the land until we finally buy it out... has always been a huge dream of mine, and I married a builder! Off to work I go, and I will keep you updated, but please keep us in your prayers.

Forgot to do this Monday...oops.

#11 I am thankful that... my husband has a new job that he love.

#12 I have friends all around the United States.

#13 I married a man that loves to travel as much as I do!

#14 The smell of campfire the day after the fire is the best thing to wake up to.

#15 Special Ed kids getting A's!

# 16 My new shaving gel smells like baby powder. :)

#17 My husband turned 22 yesterday! See post below for pictures.

#18 My little red car.

#19 It is Friday (I guess this one is cheating since this was to be done Monday)

#20 A dear friend gave Michael and I a trip to Hot Springs for the weekend! A getaway weekend=answered prayer!

Nothing is Better than a Birthday

My amazing husband turned 22 today!

I took the day off of work, and Michael and I had lunch with Diana and the girls. The girls got to
give Michael the cards they made him.

There is nothing better than celebrating family and friends at birthday time.

My husband, the Star Wars nerd, got to go on a Jedi Training Mission Scavenger Hunt.

For his birthday, we spent a night at home. After going on his Jedi mission scavenger hunt, Michael got his presents, Erasing Hell and a couple of Star Wars Nerds only things. For dinner, I made Michael's favorite Hawaiin Faijitas. Yum!

Living with the Curse

"She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms..... And does not eat the bread of idleness." Proverbs 31:17 and Proverbs 31:27b

Ice cream is not the enemy. Smores, also, are not the enemy. Size 13 jeans are not the enemy as well. There are many things about my PCOS diease that sends me into tears: the fact I may never get pregnant again or that I may never actually have a healthy pregnancy scares me. However, one of the most evident side effects of this beautiful curse is that I can gain or lose 5-8 pounds in a day. My weight fluctuates constantly and most of the time if fluctuates toward the gain side. What a normal person can eat and be fine sends me into a coma of pain because my sugar levels rise and quickly consume me.

This post, however, is not about how my PCOS effects me on a daily basis. This post is about the enemy. The enemy that whispers in my head that you are not pretty enough because I am not thin. The enemy that once allowed into my head consumes my entire day taking the focus off of the oppurtunities that God has before me and placing them back on my selfish view of myself. And you know what... it is selfish. It is very selfish to look in front of a mirror for an hour or so deciding what you like and what you don't like about yourself. More than that, it is dangerous. We, as in women, are God's princesses! We are to be valued and loved, and we are to value and love. The woman in the Bible is always presented around amazingly beautiful things, BUT have your realized that there is nowhere in the Bible that tells women what their body type should be. At least I haven't found it. The only real reference I can find are the verses above.

When Solomon's mother told him what too look for in a wife, she didn't care to instruct him to find a wife that eats less then 1,000 calories a day and can fit into a size 2 jean. She told him to find someone that wasn't lazy, practiced self control, and strengthened her arms. So, it shouldn't matter that my tummy is rounder than others as long as I practice the things that Solomon was instructed to look for in a wife. Self Control: means not downing a dozen donuts a day... maybe one a week. Eat the bread of idleness: put something else in your schedule besides television watching. Instead of watching two hours of television, plan meals for the week... this helps with self-control! Strengthen her arms: It is okay to sweat. My husband likes the fact that I run and work-out... not because he has some dream of me being a tiny girl but because he likes to see me working hard. And overall.... it says in Proverbs 31:30 that beauty will fade, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. I mean, have you ever seen a woman who really fears the Lord... I mean stands in amazement of who her Father is? She is beautiful!

What This Does in My Life: My self-image of myself is a curse. There is no other way to explain this horrid event. I grew up with a mother who always wanted to be thinner and a dad who always wanted her and me to be thinner. From the time I was aware of what it meant to have a body, I wanted to be thinner, more beautiful, and better put together than I was. This haunts me still. Each day, it takes an effort to yell out... "It's not true." I have to call the liar a liar because I have too much to do in this world, and I do not have time to mess around with him. He is a liar. Somedays, most days, I let him get to me though, and I fall back in old familiar habits.... like watching every bite I put into my mouth... can we say eating disorder?

What This Does in the World: Next time you go to the mall, step into Hollister. Look at the girl clothing and pick up a size Large shirt (I say Large because you probably won't find an Extra Large). Now if you are one of those people that can fit into that shirt, awesome... but ask yourself, is this a normal size large for normal size girls. In my dance class the other day, I have a girl that is taller than I am and weighs 120 pounds. She determined that she needed to loose 30 pounds to be the perfect size. Another girl, who is actually smaller, complained that she was also too fat and needed to loose like 20 pounds! I was shocked... these girls were the kinda of tiny that makes you want to bring them home and feed them. These girls were complaining about being too fat. Well of course they were! We have let the enemy invade our young girls.

Reality: It is the older women's responsibility to protect these young girls. Titus 2:4 instructs older women to teach the younger women. Let us all now promise to end this curse.

Getting Ready for the Weekend

If you have nothing to do tonight and would like to come over for a Smore... please... feel free.

I'm Lucky to be In Love with My Best Friend...

So... I am up so late that tomorrow there is going to be a need for a serious dose of the amazing drug called coffee to prepare for my much adorable yet much frustrating students. Teaching Special Education has taught me so much... mostly plans are never to be set in concrete... they will always change on you at a moment's notice. Ummm... I guess I am not done learning that lesson.

A new creation and cool way to display pictures. Tree branch, vase, and some rocks or cool things to keep the branch in place... this attempt now lives in our kitchen.

My husband is asleep beside me, and I wonder at the amazement that is this man. He just started a blog, and you should read it... he is a man of little words (expect when you get into a car with him and then you cannot get him to shut up). His words are powerful though. Anyways, enough playing around right. I am honestly split on what I want to write about tonight, but I know that I must write. I could tell you that life is happening as always. Michael was blessed today by getting his first paycheck from his new job and finding that he was getting paid more than we previously thought. Another prayer request answered. Also, I have recently started working with the teenage girls at our church. I haven't began teaching yet, but I am watching and learning their personalities closely. Also, amazingly, we are only a few weeks away from Thanksgiving which is like the breaking point for the semester. We're almost done! Not to mention that I have went on a Martha Stewart nut job spree, and I cannot wait until Christmas (which is new and strange considering I have never really liked Christmas). My husband decided that we should start hosting house church, and interestingly enough, my husband has gotten me to agree to hosting two gatherings in the next week. I am still not quite sure how this incident occurred mind you, but I am excited about both. My father-in-law is gone to Romania with some fall smelling candles, deodorant, and cookie mix for the Oprises. I cannot wait to hear all the stories about the orphanage!

Fall is officialy here, and I have wanted to do nothing but walk around outside and admire the trees. I think back to last year which almost seems like a life time ago. I was a new teacher with my very first boyfriend. Now, I am a second year special education teacher who has grown in tremendous ways, I am a wife, and I got to be a momma for a little bit. Sometimes when I close my eyes tightly I imagine what our beautiful baby might look like when we see her in heaven. I know even as I write this moment, she is dancing around the throne of her Beloved Father. Today, I danced in my classroom while I lectured on Central America. Today, I grew a little stronger.

I feel like my husband and I are on the brink for something...something amazing, scary, and crazy! My husband... those are such cool words.

My husband is Michael Taylor Bean. He is almost 22 years-old, and he is barely over a year old in his Christian birth. When we were dating, he would wake up extra early so that he could get to my house in time to wake me up, make me coffee, and pray or read the Bible with me before I went into teaching world. My husband eats anything that I cook even when I have messed up so badly that I myself cannot eat. My husband only has to look at me for me to remember that I am indeed a beautiful princess of God. He laughs at me, dances with me in the kitchen (though he may not appreciate me telling you that little bit of information). My husband will adopt any child, teenager, or adult as his own. I have a sneaking feeling that one day we really will have someone random living with us... kinda like the random hitchhiker that we picked up not too long ago. My husband is learning so much from the Bible that it astounds me, and his wisdom comes out at the most entertaing and interesting times. For example, washing dishes is my husbands cue to spill all the wisdom that God is teaching him.

Michael Taylor Bean loves his family... they are really the most important thing to him, and he loves our extended non-blood related family. We really would have people over all the time if I did not put my foot down...haha. My husband will always be there when you call. He is a servant, and he has taken off work several times in the past to help people move or build things. My husband lets me listen to my random wierd Jazzy music, and he is always up for an adventure. My husband prays for us often, and he is always open to criticism. He tries so hard, and he is very brave. Michael loves people and making new friends; he is crazy good at basketball, and he owns only four pairs of socks.

Michael Taylor Bean is a harvester.

Michael waited a long time for me... almost over a year. I refused him so many times, but he patiently waited and loved. He loved me despite the fact I couldn't love him. It wasn't as if he needed to wait on me, there were so many other girls available for him. There were so many other girls around that I know would have treated him better at the time than I was. He waited though, and now he is mine and I am his.

Things...they do not always go according to plan. Very seldom is God logical. When Michael and I decided to date, there were so many people that were outraged at us. Not just one or two but several. Several who didn't understand and some who probably didn't care otherwise. But as I watch my husband sleep tonight... I know a little creepy... I think about the woman at the well. Jesus spoke to her when the idea of it was completely insane. Even she was shocked beyond belief. Thank the Lord above that He is not logical... or I may never have had salvation or a husband who loves me. My challenge.... take a walk on the water.

Chosing Joy....

Today, I'm thankful that....

1. I stayed up too late making pumpkin cookies last night, and they turned out really good.

2. We get to wear jeans all week at school because we are celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness.

3. Tonight is House Church, and I don't have to cook.

4. My house is clean.

5. I made a fall arrangement on my dinning room table with some corn from the store and grain from Momma Bean oh yeah... and of course pumpkins.

6. The smell of pumpkin fills my house.

7. I found a very expensive febreeze air freshner thing at Big Lots for only 4 dollars.

8. Once again, I did all of our grocery shopping for the next two weeks yesterday for only 80 dollars.

9. That it is gonna jump up to 80 degrees today... HAPPY FACE!

10. Monday is library day, and I get some time at school today to catch up on all the things I am behind on... which is a lot.

11. We drew Christmas names for two families yesterday... yay Christmas shopping!!!

12. Passion is only a couple of months away!

13. I have an amazing husband in Michael Taylor Bean.

14. I know now what it means to be pregnant. And I loved it!!!

15. I stumbled on the amazing music artist Ingrid Michaelson.

16. My husband will let me listen to Ingrid Michaelson.

17. My husband started a blog... www.mbasbestasican.blogspot.com

18. I have two amazing churches.

19. Tiffin Hubbard challenged all of us at church yesterday, and my husband and I are up for the challenge.

20. There is such a thing as a guitar.